When Hurt Breeds Offense

A few mornings ago I woke up at 1:30AM. Stressed, anxious, and hurting. Felt like I was going to burst into tears. A few specific people came to mind who said and did hurtful or neglectful things over a period of time.

I got up and went into my prayer closet. For over 10 minutes I sobbed. I mean, sobbed to the point of no sound. Sobbed until my head was so stopped up it took 2 hours for it to clear. Gut-wrenching sobs coming up from deep inside.

After I released the pain and calmed down enough to have a thought, I realized the pain had built up over time - I had not kept current with the hurt. I covered it up with repeated attempts to connect with the unresponsive people, figuring that if I could just _________ (you name it), all would be OK and they'd respond the way I wanted.

Well, enough! I was done with this hurting thing. I started to plot how I was going to respond going forward. I am done! Not investing any more energy trying to talk to or spend time with or get a response from people who obviously were not interested.

And I was going to tell them just that!

Wait.

What?

Wait. You judged the situation through your own eyes and you're acting out of offense.

Pause.

I pondered the Lord's words. True, I could be mistaken on how I see the situation. And SO true, my unresolved hurt was a fertile breeding ground for offense!

If I hold on to the offense and act on it, any action from the other person would be a guilt-induced reaction to my words. They would (1) deny it, (2) pull away, and/or (3) try to appease me, possibly just to avoid conflict. So any "favorable" response I received would fall far short from what I really wanted: a completely reconciled and restored relationship.

Totally out of my control to make that happen!

Only God can do that...and only IF I am willing to let go of the hurt and the offense. So I asked Him for a miracle.

Lord, forgive me, heal me, change my heart!

He answered.  

Over the past few days the Lord renewed my strength and filled me with His love and peace as I chose to spend time with Him and listen. I stopped allowing my hurt to breed offense. As a result, I have a heartfelt desire to pray and reach out, and to bless and not curse.

That is the biggest miracle of all: a changed heart!

Only God.

Only God can heal your heart and forgive your sins. Choose to ask, believe, and receive.

¹⁴ Inasmuch then as we [believers] have a great High Priest who has [already ascended and] passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession [of faith and cling tenaciously to our absolute trust in Him as Savior]. ¹⁵ For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. ¹⁶ Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].

(Hebrews 4:14-16 AMP)