Apr 14, 2020

Revenge is Not Sweet

This week I had a trying situation at work - aka, an opportunity to turn the other cheek and show kindness where it was not deserved.

I failed miserably. And for that I'm thankful.

A coworker told someone they'd send them two things. About an hour later, they pawned one of them off on me.

OK, fine, I'll do it.

And you all know what "fine" means in that context, right? Offense with a capital O!

So I sent it but didn't let her know - I didn't cc her. I wish I could say it was an oversight, but it was petty vengeance on my part. I acted out of my offense. 

I didn't get a response as fast as expected. I thought all would be resolved and she'd know I handled it within an hour or two, but that didn't happen. So a few hours later she sent it out again, thinking I hadn't seen her email. Did not look good for her.

Immediately - and I do mean immediately - I felt rotten. Ashamed. Disappointed in myself that I allowed something so small to cause such a childish reaction in me.

In reply to what she sent, I forwarded her a copy of what I sent, and made sure she received all the subsequent replies. I went out of my way to resolve it all quickly, and apologized for not cc'ing her.

Humbled and sad, I pondered the change in how I felt when something I did caused someone else to look bad. There was a time in my life where I would have enjoyed seeing her look a bit foolish and made excuses because, after all, she deserved it for what she "did to me". I would have moved on without a second thought.

But not today! I'm thankful for how bad I felt, and that I'm not the same person any more. Saddest thing is, in the heat of my offense I forgot this person is not my enemy, she's my coworker who was busy and needed my help. No ill intention on her part at all.

No, revenge is not sweet. Not any more.

Next time, I hope to do better and respond with kindness and humility. By the grace of God, I will!

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone.
(Romans 12:18, NIV)

Therefore, as God's chosen people,
holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness, and patience.
(Colossians 3:12, NIV)

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