Dec 3, 2014

For Better or Worse, Part 4: Rebellion

You want me to do what? No way!

Why don’t you work on him for a change? Why do I have to do all the changing?

What God asks us to do is never beyond our ability. And we all know God knows best. We talk about it, sing about it, and testify to it. Then He asks something of us that costs more than we want to pay, or that doesn’t make sense. 

This is the fourth in a six-part series (posting every Wednesday) about the “worse” times Don and I have experienced and how God led us through. Click here for series introduction.

This week’s topic: Rebellion

NOTE: This post is mainly for wives. However, we are all called to submit to God and obey Him...and when we don't, we're in rebellion.


During the first few years of our marriage, we’d take one step forward and two steps back. Wounded and untrusting, I rebelled against anything, or anyone, that threatened my perceived security. Strife and resulting arguments troubled our marriage, and I couldn't understand why.

I prayed.

God answered.

One night, God woke me up at 3AM with a very clear Scripture reference: Ephesians 5:22-24. Excited at what gem God may have for me, I slipped out of bed and went to the living room to look it up. Some of you who know this verse are probably laughing right now.


But Lord, I *do* this, and I *do* that. I thought I was *doing* all the right things. I try so hard, and it never seems to be good enough!

Angrily, I poured out my heart to God about all the things I *did* for Don. I could not believe He thought I needed this verse.

Yes, you do many things. But your heart is not submitted.

I had no response. Knowing He was right, but not ready to admit it, I stewed and sulked for two days. During that time, I reasoned with God, bargained with God, and made strong suggestions about what He could do differently. As if God needed my help.

Finally, my hard and stubborn heart softened. Scared, but absolutely sure I needed to submit first to God by obeying Him, I humbly went to Don after dinner one night.

“Honey, I owe you an apology. I have not been submitted to you from my heart. Please forgive me. Can I pray?”

He agreed, and we held hands and bowed our heads. The instant I started praying my apology and asking for the Lord’s (and Don’s) forgiveness, the atmosphere in our house changed. God’s peaceful presence banished confusion and strife. Stunned speechless, we looked at each other and cried silent tears of amazement.

Fast forward to last night. We both woke up at 2AM, unable to sleep for a variety of reasons. We shared our struggles, whispered words of encouragement, prayed for each other, and held hands. We enjoyed a soft-hearted, sweet time with the Lord and each other.

We’ve come a long way since that Ephesians wake-up call!

Take-Away Lessons 

1. Ephesians 5:22-24 instructions to wives are not conditional. You don’t have to agree with your husband, and he doesn’t have to love you like Christ loves the church. Unless he is abusive, in which case you need to seek help immediately, you are called to submit to his leadership.

2. In submitting to your husbands, you are really submitting to and obeying God. Rebellion against your husband's God-given authority is rebellion against God.

3. Honestly pour out your heart to Him. He knows it anyway.

4. Allow God to prepare and soften your heart before you walk forward. Apologizing in anger, sarcastically, is not fruitful.

5. Rebellion breeds chaos and confusion. Always.

6. Obedience brings blessing. Always.

7. Submission brings God’s peace to your heart. Always. Your marriage may not look different on the outside, but you’ll be different on the inside.

8. Marriage isn’t always fair. Life isn’t always fair. Unfairness is no excuse to be rebellious or disobedient.

9. When you get to heaven, God isn’t going to ask you, “How was your marriage?”, or “How did your husband treat you?” He’s going to ask, “What kind of wife were you? Did you obey Ephesians 5:22-24?”

10. If you haven’t already read Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie O’Martian, invest in the book and read the first chapter at least once a year. It will help keep your heart soft toward your husband.

I wish I could say I will never be rebellious again. Or that after that first apology I never needed to make another one. 

I can’t say either.

But what I can say is that by continually choosing to obey (sometimes immediately, sometimes kicking and screaming), God continues to change me and transform our marriage. We’re works in progress – me, Don, and our marriage.

Change is possible for the hardest and most rebellious hearts – hearts like mine, and maybe like yours.

Ask Don, he’ll tell you.

Next up: Super Spiritual

TODAY’S CHALLENGE: For what reasons, if any, do you have trouble submitting to your husband’s leadership? Go to the Lord in prayer and follow His lead to bring increased peace to your heart, and your marriage.

Also, if you know someone else who may be blessed by this series, please share the link with them.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Myra, for your encouragement!! Glad you like what you read!


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