Nov 26, 2016

Come to Me


The Lord told me at the beginning of the year that my health was to be a priority this year. I thought, OK, I will start back to Crossfit (check) and eat better (semi-check). Still I had high cholesterol, and the results of a Coronary Artery Calcium Scan (CACS) showed buildup in my arteries. OK, my doctor had my attention, and I started taking cholesterol medication.


A few weeks ago my doctor scheduled a stress test for November 23rd to see if I have any blockage that requires more than medication. As the date approached, I started avoiding God. I prayed and talked to Him during the day, but, did not want to be “alone” with Him in my prayer closet. The day before the test, I felt so afraid!
 
Wonder why?
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)
I did not come. I hid because I was afraid.
  • Afraid God was disappointed in me because I had gotten myself to this point by waiting too long to address my health.
  • Afraid I had missed God somewhere, and that’s why I was on my fourth semi-major health issue since September, 2015.
  • Afraid I was no use to God in the prayer closet because of all my fears and failures.

At one point, I thought, “Who am I anyway? I can’t pray for anyone, I don’t have anything in me.”
All lies!

The Holy Spirit is in me, and is perfect in every way, at peace, and full of faith. My soul was not being refreshed enough to allow the Holy Spirit to take the lead, take charge, pray through me. I was not able to recognize the enemy’s lies because I didn’t “come to God”, but instead tried to handle it on my own. You know, I got myself into this, I can’t ask for Your help to get me out of it.

Jesus didn't say, “Come to me, all except those who made the mess themselves.” Or, “Come to me, unless you knew better.”
Jesus said, “Come to me, ALL who are weary and burdened.”
No qualifier. All means all.

God loves me, He forgives me, and He’s waiting with open arms to hug me no matter what…as long as I’m willing to “come to Him” with my burdens of sin, need, pains, weaknesses. He is bigger than me, than my sins, than my human-ness.

It’s OK to feel afraid. It’s human. But pridefully trying to deal with that fear and hiding from God instead of running to God for His help is a sin.

After confessing my fears to Don and my parents, and realizing much of this through that conversation, I went into my prayer closet. I cried, I confessed my sin and fears, I received God's forgiveness. I read the Bible and filled myself with Truth. My peace returned, and I moved forward into prayer, worship, and life with determination and faith, strengthened by God.


The results of the test are in. Next step: heart catheterization so the doctor can see if I need a stent. Yes, I’m a little afraid, but now I’m running to my prayer closet…even if all I can sometimes do is cry.
Once again, I've learned it’s enough to just “come”, God will handle the rest.


As I wrote this blog, a song came to mind by Sidewalk Prophets, You Love Me Anyway”. If you need to be encouraged, take a few minutes to listen.  

4 comments:

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    1. Thank you! I'm doing well, with God's help...once I admitted I needed it. You remember? "All He wants you to do is love Him and let Him love you." I'm working on the second part of that :-)

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  2. Mary, the spiritual insight you shared is going to bless you and other people for years to come. Thanks for this insightful post!

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement Maureen!!

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