Rats! I didn’t get a chance to do the laundry this weekend. Too busy doing fun stuff. And now it’s time to go to work, so I can’t start it now.
Hmmmm, Don may get home early, and he sometimes does the laundry. OK, I’ll take a few minutes and sort it for him…just in case he has a chance to do it.
As I started to carry the basket of dirty clothes into the hallway for sorting, I felt the Lord’s nudge: Put it back, he can handle it. Then the arguments, and answers, started.
What if something gets ruined because he doesn’t sort it right? Well, I don’t really have anything that can’t be replaced.
What if he fills the machine too full? I’ve already noticed he doesn’t do that. And really, so what if he does?
Then I started thinking about past areas where Don has pitched in to help around the house, willingly and graciously. And about how I’ve treated him.
Old ways: “Don’t put that on the bottom rack of the dishwasher, it doesn’t go there.”
Recent past: “Thanks for loading the dishwasher.” Then, after he left the room, I’d rearrange the items…and he caught me more than a few times.
Now: “Thank you for loading the dishwasher, honey.”
Old ways: “Don’t do it that way, do it this way.” (“It” could be just about anything.)
Recent past: “Here’s a suggestion, maybe you could try doing it this way.”
Now: “That looks nice, thank you for doing it.” Or, just plain old silence. (And once I stopped competing and correcting, I learned a few things from him.)
Here is the hidden message that Don processed.
Old ways: Let me correct you and tell you the right way to do things…you’re not smart enough to figure it out for yourself.
Recent past: I can save you some trouble if you listen to me, but it’s up to you. I mean, really, I do know a better way…..
Now: I respect you and trust you, you’re the best.
All these thoughts happened in a few short minutes. I don’t live in the “now” all the time, but I’ve come a long way. Just ask Don, he’ll tell you.
I put the basket back in the closet, and thanked God that I have such an amazing husband.
TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Wives, how do you show respect and appreciation for your husband?